It was about 3 weeks after the horrific terrorist attack on Sept. 11, 2001. I had been struggling with ending my 3 year relationship with my Jewish boyfriend (I am not jewish and the reason I point this out is: this is one of the main reasons we broke up, we couldn't agree on what religion we were to raise our future kids) was thinking of a career change (I was an independent production manager and coordinator in film and animation, things got REAL slow after 9/11) and was feeling my biological clock ticking (not ticking but GONGING) away. I decided to move back "home" (I’m not a native but I feel at home here because outside of Germany, this is the longest my family has lived in one place) to Iowa so I could be closer to my family, I missed them and the 9/11 attack was a frickin' eye opener for me. I was living and loving the "single life" but still felt something missing.
Now, my mom is Korean (dad is caucasian) and in "old school" Korea (i say "old school" because my mom has not been back to korea since about 1976 so everything she taught us came from her upbringing in the "good ole days"...Thank GOD!), things were very different than they are today. I mean all the stereotypes of subservient asian women to the domineering asshole men, emphasis on kids extracurricular activities, respecting elders, superstitions, being a good citizen and the BEST overall person, was the basis of what she learned growing up and in turn, passed on to us.
So, koreans are nuts about many things and marrying off their daughters is one of them. My mom was "sick and tired of all the moving around I was doing, and I was never going to meet anyone and start a family if I didn't get my act together. Oh and by the way, you're not moving out of this house again, until you're married." Now, for some of you it might seem weird that a 30 year old woman would just "give in" and go along with this. But, you don't know my mom, there are just some things that go without any further discussion, this was one of them. My mom has a TON of korean friends and these friends have kids. One of those kids was BFF’s with my baby sister. Once she heard I moved back, and wasn't married yet, she made it her mission to find me a "good husband" and insisted I meet this "perfect" guy for me. “Tall (very important, I'm 5'10"), sweet, gracious, generous, funny and a TON OF FUN”. Come to find out this woman was on a mission, even though I showed ZERO interest or enthusiasm for this person, she made sure to tell him all the wonderful things she thought of me (the list must have been extensive, but he was NOT interested. he was having to much fun partying with his friends). She finally broke us both down (korean women, now matter how small, are (amongst a trillion other things) extremely determined and persistent, in other words, they don't take "no" for an answer).
So, at 32 years old, I find my “twue wuv”. We meet, fall in love and spend all our free time together. By the first six months of our relationship, we are married and expecting our first child. I quit my job and hubby started a new one, things were looking hopeful.
It all goes downhill from here....
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